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In the search for the best method of cleaning ears, I have combed the vast halls of libraries, surfed the many oceans of the internet and interviewed hundreds of individuals; friends, acquaintances and complete strangers.
The methods employed by our fellow man (and women) to remove the dreaded earwax (Cerumen, by it's proper name) can be clever, ingenious but ultimately a career move to loss of hearing, possibly irreversible.
The classic method, the Q-tip or cotton bud suggests a 'no-harm' technique.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Everyone's ear canal is different in both length and diameter. Sticking a cotton bud into this canal will probably push the wax up against the ear drum making removal more difficult and you with increased loss of hearing. The more unlucky of us will have it penetrate the eardrum causing all sorts of unexpected surprises; pain, bleeding and loss of hearing. Time to pack away the stereo, won't be ending that for a while.
Other specialist tools are the common house or car key, just great for getting to those, difficult-to-reach places. Those with servants and/or a chauffeur have the added advantage of not having such fiendish devices at hand. If your driver or housemaid is suddenly hard-of-hearing, suspect the worst.
My personal favourite is the top off of a particular French made ball point pen. This acts as a convenient scoop and makes penetration into the middle ear simple and easy to do. Vive Le France!
Yet more tools are purpose build ear wax excavation implements. These are used by differing cultures who find pen tops and car keys, passé. They have similarities to the tools used by professionals except they're being used by total amateurs. Long spiked things purpose built to cause pain and deafness in the wrong hands.
The professional has the advantage of, well... being professional.
They have several things to their advantage.
Your G.P., ENT Specialist or Ear Hygienist (this is where I come in), is on the outside looking in.
They are using specialist lighting, magnifying equipment and other high tech tools to see your ear canal and your other bits and pieces in glorious high definition 3D.
Many years of experience also tells them when to play and when to hold (in 'Hold 'em Poker' parlance).
Compacted ear wax can be down right painful. You can not only feel a loss of hearing, but as if half of you is somehow missing. Vertigo can also be a problem, try chairing that 'really important meeting' when you feel like you're looping-the-loop in a stunt plane.
You wouldn't reach into the toolbox for a pair of pliers if you had a toothache, neither would you plug yourself into the nearest wall socket if you felt a heart attack coming on.
I probably shouldn't be giving you this advice, after all, your do-it-yourself enthusiasm could be keeping my colleges and me in a job.
Seriously, leave it to people who only use their keys to start their car.
The methods employed by our fellow man (and women) to remove the dreaded earwax (Cerumen, by it's proper name) can be clever, ingenious but ultimately a career move to loss of hearing, possibly irreversible.
The classic method, the Q-tip or cotton bud suggests a 'no-harm' technique.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Everyone's ear canal is different in both length and diameter. Sticking a cotton bud into this canal will probably push the wax up against the ear drum making removal more difficult and you with increased loss of hearing. The more unlucky of us will have it penetrate the eardrum causing all sorts of unexpected surprises; pain, bleeding and loss of hearing. Time to pack away the stereo, won't be ending that for a while.
Other specialist tools are the common house or car key, just great for getting to those, difficult-to-reach places. Those with servants and/or a chauffeur have the added advantage of not having such fiendish devices at hand. If your driver or housemaid is suddenly hard-of-hearing, suspect the worst.
My personal favourite is the top off of a particular French made ball point pen. This acts as a convenient scoop and makes penetration into the middle ear simple and easy to do. Vive Le France!
Yet more tools are purpose build ear wax excavation implements. These are used by differing cultures who find pen tops and car keys, passé. They have similarities to the tools used by professionals except they're being used by total amateurs. Long spiked things purpose built to cause pain and deafness in the wrong hands.
The professional has the advantage of, well... being professional.
They have several things to their advantage.
Your G.P., ENT Specialist or Ear Hygienist (this is where I come in), is on the outside looking in.
They are using specialist lighting, magnifying equipment and other high tech tools to see your ear canal and your other bits and pieces in glorious high definition 3D.
Many years of experience also tells them when to play and when to hold (in 'Hold 'em Poker' parlance).
Compacted ear wax can be down right painful. You can not only feel a loss of hearing, but as if half of you is somehow missing. Vertigo can also be a problem, try chairing that 'really important meeting' when you feel like you're looping-the-loop in a stunt plane.
You wouldn't reach into the toolbox for a pair of pliers if you had a toothache, neither would you plug yourself into the nearest wall socket if you felt a heart attack coming on.
I probably shouldn't be giving you this advice, after all, your do-it-yourself enthusiasm could be keeping my colleges and me in a job.
Seriously, leave it to people who only use their keys to start their car.
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